The Rally to Restore Sanity was nearly a complete bust for our little family unit, but at least The Boy learned some important lessons about hosting a party. The Wife and I are not generally hard to please (editor's note: I am hard to please), but is anyone discussing the fact that, by my estimate, 30% of attendees couldn’t hear a damn thing? I know Stewart fans get a little uncomfortable when he’s criticized, but let’s get truthy – as I told The Boy in the car on the way home, if you invite all your friends to a party make sure there’s enough onion dip. Also, if you’re ever a national figure publicizing an event for weeks in hopes of drawing a record-breaking crowd – set up a few extra speakers. After all, 200,000 people might show up.
We could hear a lot of Stewart’s opening material, but it became apparent pretty quickly that the sound system was a major problem. People started looking around with confusion, then a bit of disbelief and sadness which melted to utter resignation in a matter of minutes, like a pack of Congressional Democrats. After about 30 minutes, large groups of people shrugged in unison and headed off in different directions. (On a side note, there’s no way any one will have an accurate estimate on the crowd because thousands of fashionably late rally-goers were arriving as thousands of weak-kneed cut-n-runners bailed in the first hour.)
Anyway, after it became clear that we weren’t going to be able to hear the show, I tried to get a hateful chant going or at least a few boos or some good ol’ fashioned grousing, but the crowd wouldn’t have it. When I shouted — “This Rally’s a Bust!” — I only got a few tepid grins and even those might have been gassy. Apparently the attendees wholeheartedly bought into Stewart’s request to not be douchey – but not me. As I told The Boy later that day in The Washington Mall’s security office nobody can take away our God-given right to scream obscenities at public events. On the other hand, the Mall security personnel did a fine job of teaching The Boy about the limits to an individual’s right to angrily chug beer and throw punches in a crowd.
When I got to a friend’s house later that night I watched Stewart’s closing speech. It’s true I have some constructive criticism for him, both about his Rally and his show, but I love what he does. He is a rare and important voice in the public sphere. He and Colbert (along with The Yes Men) create some of the smartest social commentary out there, even if it does give us a laugh, something Timothy Noah from Slate.com got oddly apoplectic about. It’s ironic that the sound system prevented me and so many people from hearing the Rally since, after hearing his closing speech, my first wish was for everyone to hear his message: these are hard times not end times in America, and also that people can disagree without becoming enemies. The average person on the street knows this - but the main stream screamedia sure tries to chip away at our common sense. We don't have to step far back to find the perspective needed to see politicians and pundits clearly - they are all clamoring for our attention, like desperate children who are afraid we might turn our backs on them. And the truth is - just as with children - we shouldn't turn our backs on them; we shouldn't ignore the childish, shallow, greedy voices that dominate the public sphere; instead, we should dominate them, find ways to show them how to behave – and that's exactly what Jon Stewart did on Saturday.
Anywho - before The Boy and I continue our Campaign to Get Jon Stewart to Stop Laughing at His Own Jokes (a sincere effort to help the man), I have to organize my Rally to Restore the Money I Spent Going to The Rally to Restore Sanity (a sincere effort to get my money back).